I'm Back

I know. I haven't posted anything recently. This is because a lot has happened, and I was very busy and distracted. But now that I've had a few moments rest, it's a good time to say that I haven't fallen off the Earth. And I also think it's about time to make a more personal blog entry.

Over the course of the last couple of months, I broke up with my girlfriend, was the best man at a wedding, and found out that my best friend was in a car accident. All of these things, and others, have been really teaching me a lot about life, and its not an easy process. I feel highly challenged in my personal growth as a person and as a Christian.

One of the things I'm really trying to figure out is a concept that everyone else seems to understand fairly well, but I continually struggle with. And that is the concept of love. Well, the concept isn't so difficult, but the definition can be. What I mean is, how do you know that you love someone? I'm referring to anyone, be it your parents, your friends, your spouse, your relatives. What makes you sure that you love them? And for that matter, can you ever be sure? Is believing you love somebody enough to make it true?

I believe that I do love my parents, for example, but I don't say that to them very much (I'm trying to do it more). I believe that I love my friends, but I never say it. And why? I don't even know why. The only explanations that I have seem to be that either I am afraid, uncertain or unqualified to make such a statement. The reading in church today (which prompted this post) was the one in which Jesus says "No one has greater love than to lay down his own life for his friends" (John 15:13), and although that seems like a good starting point, it isn't easily applicable in everyday life.

I often remind myself of that scene in the movie Ghost where Demi Moore's character tells Patrick Swayze's character that she loves him. He can't say it back since he knows that people everywhere say it and don't mean it all the time. Even though it's very obvious from the rest of the movie that he really does love her, it seems like he is stuck on the same concept as me, which prevents him from telling her that he loves her. This makes me think its more a psychological issue than an intellectual one both in the movie and in my life.

My reflection today on the verse led me toward the thought that if the greatest love is when you lay down your life for a friend, then this would imply that there are different degrees of love for another person. If what Jesus is talking about is the greatest love, then maybe there is such a thing as great love, or even good love, or just simply love, and its all just different kinds or different degrees, or different amounts. So I have a few friends where maybe I would hesitate to actually take a bullet for them. But I'm thinking now, as I write this, that it does not therefore mean that I don't love them. And this seems to be what I'm trying to internalise and believe, but I haven't been able to fully do that yet.

Anyway, I would "LOVE" to hear what other people's concepts of knowledge of love are in the above context. And please don't start talking about the three kinds of love using Latin terminology okay? I'm talking about real love for another person with with whom you have a relationship, love in its most general and basic kernel, whatever that means.

Daniel

Danny Williams vs. Paul McCartney

And who, you ask, is Danny Williams? I'm not talking about the heavyweight boxer... I'm talking about Newfoundland's beloved premier! (Newfoundland is a Canadian province, people!!!) Newfoundland is home to the much discussed seal-hunt that has been a "cause célebre" for several years in the past, both in Canada and internationally. I watched a debate on this subject take place on Larry King Live yesterday night (yes, I was watching TV on a Friday night). Today, I found the CBC article that talked about it.

It's interesting that even though the entire world is being told by strong media and celebrity endorsements that the seal-hunt is extremely inhumane and cruel, the Canadian media tends to be supportive of the hunt. General Canadian reporting seems to indicate that everyone else in the world is being misinformed. Although most internet sites and international media will make the seal hunt sound really bad, it is very interesting to see the Canadian government's page on Seal Hunt myths, which supports the opposite viewpoint.

This debate came to a head in the live CNN debate where Paul McCartney and his wife attempted to convince people that the hunt is cruel, not to mention their economic solutions for Canada. I was initially swayed by their argument, until premier Williams came on (about half way through), and started questioning their facts and arguments. Not that I think Williams presented a greatly eloquent argument, but he did make me stop and actually contemplate the other side. To be honest, I'm now a little unsure of what the truth is, but I'm more in favour of the hunt than against it. The premier raised some very interesting points, including that he felt that the McCartneys were being used (he's a brave man!) by some sensationalist and very well funded organisations like PETA, while more reputable organisations like the WWF supported the hunt.

The McCartneys (Paul was wearing a nice Canada sweater) were in favour of banning the seal hunt and setting up an eco-tourism industry akin to the whale-watching industry that replaced the now-illegal whaling industry decades ago, along with government subsidies that would supplement the fishermen's incomes. It should be noted that the seal population is not currently endanged, even though the McCartneys said it was only a matter of time that it soon would be, an assertion which was challenged by the premier. The show did show some live video of the seal hunt which was admittedly not pleasant, but I wondered how representative of the hunt this video is or isn't, as it is hard to judge. It didn't show whether or not the seals suffer much, or at all. I also wondered if there is any good way to kill any animal. I guess this animal suffers more because it is so cute.

In my opinion the premier didn't come off as the most eloquent person, but he did force thoughtful viewers to consider that there is another viewpoint. The McCartneys were defensive at times, but they presented a fairly unified and consistent approach that was on-topic. I think the premier felt defensive, since he was going off topic a little, but really, how could you not be defensive when arguing against McCartney, whom everybody loves. It was probably a lost cause to start with, so I think he did really well.

Best quote from McCartney's wife:
KING: Well, what do you make of the argument that most of them are shot, Heather?
H. MCCARTNEY: Well, it's just not true. It's complete and absolute rubbish. It's just not true. Most of them are shot and clubbed in a hacky pick thing, which is a tall, long hook and then they hit them once with it and drag them along the ground. And they only use the one bullet. Again, because it's used for fur. It's not used for any other thing.
Best quote by Danny Williams:
WILLIAMS: Larry, let me tell you a couple of things. First of all, Heather is incorrect. There are 90 percent of these animals that are basically killed by firearms. So I had to set the record straight because I live here and I actually know. As well, you know, there's an unfair comparison that if you go into a beef slaughter house or a pork slaughter house or a chicken slaughter house and you put white sheets down on the floor, well then you're going to see blood. And that's not nice and that's not pleasant.

Here's a full transcript of the show.

Daniel

Thirty Six Months

Today I celebrate my 3-year anniversary working at GM. I think its a big accomplishment. But there's another significance to this day. Today, I've finally fulfilled the experience requirements required to get my Professional Engineer's License from Professional Engineers Ontario! I've just got to make sure that I fill in that application next week (on my list of goals, I was supposed to do it this week, but I'm out of time... because I will be celebrating on Saturday... read on)

And how am I celebrating, you ask? I will be going to work at 6:30 on a Saturday, that's how! For the first time ever (when not travelling). After resisting for many years, I now have to do it to meet a deadline (someone else's deadline). I suppose I'm only complaining because I did already work 52 hours this week. But still, it was my decision to accept coming in on Saturday, and 52 isn't that much really. I guess I'm just over-dedicated sometimes. Maybe I let it happen because I actually enjoy work to some degree. Well, I don't mean I'd rather be at work. I simply enjoy getting the work done, and the sense of accomplishment when I'm making real progress. I also believe it will reduce my stress level next week. It may also be because I like my job, I enjoy the work, I think I'm good at it (and getting better everyday), and there's so much to learn. And therein lies the issue, but its a great issue to have I think. Having to work one Saturday is better than having a job that I hate.

Daniel

Turning Up The Heat

According to this article, the planet is hotter than its ever been in a long time. And its our fault, say our scientists. It seems they are always attributing the warming effect to all the greenhouse gas emissions. I bet that is most of the answer. But what about the fact that we're just burning a whole bunch of stuff! We're burning more than ever before. We're burning coal, oil and other things faster than the planet normally does. And we're doing it more and faster everyday... does this heat just dissipate? The planet is not a closed thermodynamic system, taking heat in from the sun, and radiating heat into space... but just as what once seemed like a small amount of carbon dioxide is now having an effect on the atmosphere, doesn't this widespread burning contribute at all to thermal (dis)equilibrium? I wonder if anyone has tried calculating the effect of growing combustion on the planet? Typically the burning releases greenhouse gases which makes the planet a better insulator, but what about the heat from burning itself? My instinct tells me its negligible, but we're are burning lots of stuff constantly and permanently. Now excuse me, while I turn up my thermostat... its cold in here.

Daniel

Smiters #1 - Batman vs. Spiderman

This is the first match in a series of tournament bouts pitting two powerful forces, which I'm terming "Smiters" (as in one who smites), against each other. Eventually when enough matches have been decided, I'll have the winners fight each other.

To vote, write a comment with "I Vote for _____" in it. You can also campaign for your favourite smiter, by commenting about the reasons they would win, or why their opponent is terrible. At the end of each match, the smiter with the most votes (or most convincing arguments if no votes have been made) will be declared. I'll even even the playing field by weighting in my vote equally with your vote!

Smite Challenge #1 - Batman vs. Spiderman

Batman's Advantages:
-Cool toys
-Batmobile, Batcave
-Lots of money to buy cool toys
-Highly honed physical abilities
-Willing to play dirty/has a dark side
-Secret Identity

Spiderman's Advantages:
-Web-fighting action
-Superhuman physical abilities
-Spidey sense
-Secret Identity
-Social conscience/integrity

I vote for Spiderman -- I think the fight would climax in a hand-to-hand combat situation where Spidey could basically fly around and web batman into a state of submission. True Batman could use his toys, but Spiderman has really fast reflexes.

Daniel

Reflections On Another Year

To be honest I couldn't remember where I was on my birthday last year until I dug into my records and realised that the reason was probably because I was alone in Germany for work. The night was an uneventful one, spent at a hotel in Coburg. I guess the company bought me dinner though. But its always better to spend a birthday with at least one person that is truly important to you. This time I spent the evening with my friends John and Mel in Dashwood, so it was time well spent. Actually this birthday turned out really good, as I got a wonderful surprise in an email. Anyway, this seems like a good time to be introspective, and to ask how I've bettered myself.

Some good things I've done:

• Took my Professional Practice Exam with PEO, for my engineering license in Canada (no result yet, but I'm pretty sure I passed)
• Undertook significant new projects and management responsibilities at GM
• Bought my first major purchase: my car (which I have named "Ruby")
• Travelled so much my that I've almost been refused entry to some countries because of my tattered passport (my stats: 27 stamps, 10 of 20 pages used so far)
• Been to 2 new countries: Netherlands (I drove across the entire country), and Italy, to bring my count to 15, if I'm not missing any: Canada, USA, Dominican Republic, N.Ireland, England, France, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Italy, India, Japan
• Learned to speak German (understanding German is still difficult!)
• Drove a car the fastest I have ever personally driven anything (this was on the Autobahn)
• Became a Platinum member at the Marriott
• Started my blog
• Officially moved out of Toronto -- I'm now residing in Windsor
• Started swing dancing -- I'm no longer a beginner
• Joined my Jazz Quartet
• Finally wrote my first really good song
• Took my first real vacation in 3 years
• Visited my grandparents in my ancestral home
• Spent my first Christmas without any of the following: snow, cold weather, being in Canada, my parents

Important lessons I've learned:

• Don't forget to talk with the people you care about regularly
• Not deciding something is a decision in itself, and usually its a bad decision
• Work is important, but not the most important (I only put the second half of this into action recently)
• Accept your feelings, and don't suppress them
• Recognise when you've received a gift - It's too easy to fail to see the ones that are not wrapped
• Don't be afraid of love
• Confidence will greatly enhance your life

Now, to establish goals for the next year!

Daniel

There is Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

I was recently thinking about the struggle between fear and action. Sometimes, I find that when trying to make a decision, I put too much pressure on myself. I can convince myself that something I want to do must be arranged perfectly or else it will fail. But this is simply negative thinking. This is fear controlling me.

It is by doing the thing that we are afraid of that we can conquer our fears and pursue the great things that we wish for ourselves. And if it goes well, we learn much. And if it goes badly, we learn even more. I must constantly remind myself that I do not know exactly where my life will go. And I must remind myself that it is not necessary or good to know. In life, circumstances can change. People can change. Hearts can change. Climate can change. Everything can change at a moment's notice. How can we predict the way things must be or will be? It is almost foolish to try!

Things will never be exactly as I imagine them, so it is useless to pressure myself to choose certainty over uncertainty. Certainty simply does not exist. Life is a path that either you can choose, or your fear can choose for you. We can be our own worst enemies. If we have a chance to do something important, it can be so important to us that we are afraid to even try.

Maybe this stems from a fear of failure or inadequacy. We don't pursue the possibilities of so many greater things, because we create mental roadblocks for ourselves. It is so easy to remain in misery for which we refuse to take responsibility. But it is truly scary to admit that we cause the very fear which makes us unhappy. As Nelson Mandela said: "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure." Have no regrets, but never make the same mistake twice. Fear and faith struggle against each other at all times. As humans, we would do well to understand, conquer and learn from our fears so that we can achieve our potential. I'm starting now. Again.

Daniel