I haven't written an article in a while, but technically, I didn't even write this one! It was forwarded to me in an email, and I don't know who did write it, though I made some minor improvements. If you know me, you'll understand why its funny. If you don't know me, you'll still get a kick out of it. Enjoy!
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On a Church's Billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want your tows."
On an Electrician's truck: "We'll look into your shorts."
At a Florist: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
On a Septic Tank Truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little grills."
At the Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
On the back of a Septic Truck in Chicago: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
Think you can make some up? Try your hand at it in the comments!
P.S. This entry will be imported into Facebook automatically, but comments are welcome in both places.